i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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