just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
