haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
