Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
