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I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
