He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
