why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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