I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize