If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize