I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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