You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
