I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
