Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
