YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
