a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
