it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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