i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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