sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
