Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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