He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The best revenge is premature balding
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
