did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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