How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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