Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
