id be glad to
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
