I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
