You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
