i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
