The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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