Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
