didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize