Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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