I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
