I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
