you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
