I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
