Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
