I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My vagina is very pro this idea
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
