Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
