true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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