nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
