i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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