My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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