playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
