If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
