i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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