I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize