You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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