well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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