Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize