I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
