the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
