Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
