I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
