I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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