i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
These tits shall not be calmed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize