Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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