I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
