Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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