hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
