Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
