no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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