Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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