idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
