What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
