my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
