he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
